Boycotting Red in West Bengal

There once lived a smarty who said,
"We must boycott everything red.
I strongly advise,
Against CPM ties,
Be careful, dear folks, who you wed."

"So henceforth we Bongs, won't have red.
Even colour of blood, will instead
Be re-dyed bright blue
(None other will do)
For you see, we are doubtless purebred!"

"Neither saree, nor sindoor, nor bangle
Should be red -- it's the CPM angle.
The colour we'll rout,
From our palette, no doubt,
It is Marxist -- we must disentangle"

India Today 16/04/2012: West Bengal - State food supplies minister Jyotipriyo Mallick issued a diktat ordering his party members to socially boycott the CPM in Bengal. The startling remarks came as Mallick, at a public rally in Kolkata's adjoining North 24-Parganas' Habra area, asked Trinamool members not to have marital ties with the family members of any CPM leader or activist. Get the story here

Read more at: http://indiatoday.intoday.in/story/socially-boycott-cpm-in-bengal-appeals-trinamool-minister/1/184750.html

How far will you go for that monsoon shower?

We hope that the gods find alarming,
The sight of those naked girls farming,
And embarrassed powers,
Send us monsoon showers--
But what if they find the sight charming?

Reuters 23/07/09: Naked girls plough fields in India for rain. Get the story here

Look ma, a kissing couple!

Is kissing in public, offense?
If unmarried, yes, and so hence-
forth for your capers,
Please carry your papers
That prove that you're married - make sense?

:D

MSN News 22/04/09: New Delhi: Kissing by married couple is not obscenity, says Court. Taking serious note of the growing trend of moral policing, the Delhi High Court Wednesday asked the Delhi police commissioner to hold an inquiry against a police official who had charged a newly married couple with obscenity when they kissed in public. Get the story here

I must point out here, that I am against moral policing in any form. However, if, as the news item mentions, only married people can kiss in public, some grave questions arise in this context (check out the comments section of the news item). Do the people in question have only to be married, or must they be married to each other? What kind of kissing will be allowed? What is a public place? Will a public place be defined similarly to the places where smoking is not allowed? Such thoughts surely call for a Newsmerick ~ InkSpot

Inkspot on Mangaloremania

First the pub attacks in Mangalore, then the targeting of noodle straps and Valentine's day - these hooligans are I suppose setting new standards of 'Hindu culture'. According to them:

A good Hindu girl ain't no sinner.
She stays at home, cooks lunch and dinner.
She steers clear away,
From Valentine's day --
Her blouse straps will never get thinner.

A good Hindu man will pursue
Women in pubs, beat them blue.
Like a hawk (or a vulture),
He'll protect 'Hindu culture' --
Though, what that is, he has no clue!

Much married

The honored judge let out a roar;
"86 wives at age eighty-four?
It takes a single belle,
To make man’s life hell -
At the most, I will let you keep 4!"


But now, the 86 wives are protesting. Get the story here

A hair-splitting tale

When in Saudi a young man was hauled
Up for flirting, the Gov. was appalled;
One glance at the guy
And I realized why -
The young flirt was entirely bald!

:D

Yahoo News 29/04/08: Saudi governor orders haircuts for men who hit on women. Get the story here

The mother of all abuse

In a match, when two players got irate,
The referee said, “Boys, get this straight.
You may well hurl abuse
At your moms, if you choose,
But you can’t call each other primate!”

Daily Telegraph 29/01/08: Indian defence for Harbhajan Singh. Get the story here. Cricinfo 30/01/08: Insufficient evidence against Harbhajan - Hansen. Get the story here

In the new age of sportsmanship, it appears that monkeying around with moms is considered the lesser evil!

Sense and sensibility

It's once more that time of the year
When one should spread goodwill and cheer.
Yet there is a spurt,
Of sentiments hurt,
Each time something cracks the veneer!


After the 'Aaja Nachle' and Sudanese teddy bear debacle, it is now the turn of Sikhs to be angry. Get the story here

Punished for being raped!

Been gang raped and faced an assault?
Then know my dear, it's all your fault
For tempting the male
They'll spank you in jail
And rub your wound with common salt!


ABC News 22/11/07: Saudi rape victim tells her story. Get the story here

Let mating dogs lie

There once lived a man in Chennai,
Who killed mating dogs, hung them high.
They then sent him a 'curse'
Which he sought to reverse
By marrying a bitch - what a guy!


AFP 14/11/07: An Indian farmer has married his dog in a bid to overcome what he believes is a curse caused by him having stoned to death two mating dogs in his rice field, press reports said. Get the story here

Don't like gift color? Divorce wife!

A groom divorced bride, newly wed,
When he found that his bike was not red!
A friend saved the day,
Married, took her away -
It is true! And you thought, dowry's dead!

MSN News 08/11/07:Ranchi: For a bride here, it was a tale of two marriages and a divorce in one night - and all for the colour of a motorbike.Farhana was married to Riyaz Ansari on Nov 8 in Ormanjhi block of Ranchi, 35 km from the state headquarters.After the marriage, Riyaz and his father Aalimuddin Ansari, residents of Ramgarh district, desired to see the bike gifted as dowry.Riyaz got angry when he found a black Hero Honda bike. He had demanded a red-coloured Bajaj Discover. The bride's family tried hard to pacify him, but an angry Riyaz divorced his new bride. Read the rest here

Unthinkable, isn't it?

Durga not welcome at Hogwarts?

An innovative pandal their dream,
They created the 'Hogwarts school' theme.
But soon Madame Rowling,
Came after them, growling,
Now Potter battles Goddess Supreme!


Kolkata Newsline 10/10/07: Rowling sues Salt Lake Puja committee for copyright violation. Read the story here

It is commonplace for Puja organizers to design puja pandals based on various themes. Will then copyrights be needed for all in the future? The Telegraph asks.

For Rezwanur: Let the "andar ki baat" see light of day

A young pair decided to wed,
The bride's dad in anger saw red.
(For there was a catch.
Their backgrounds didn't match.)
And soon, the young man, he was dead.

O how did he die? Was he slain?
Did he end his life under a train?
Let truth come to light
In Rezwanur's fight
And may he have not died in vain.

TOI 09/10/07: CPM veteran Jyoti Basu may be keeping up the heat in the Rizwanur Rahman case, demanding stern action against police officers, but the administration is doing little to speed up the probe into the death of the 30-year-old graphic designer. Get the story here

For those who are not aware of the Rizwanur case, here is a short background

*'andar ki baat', or 'the inside story' is the tagline of the Lux Cozi, an innerwear brand owned by Ashok Todi, father of the bride.

Make baby, win prize

The roads are all empty and cold,
As Russians, both young and the old,
Are trying to compete,
In a baby making feat,
There are prizes galore I am told!


Yahoo News 11/09/07: Russian region to host Day of Conception. Get the story here

Getting your goat!

"We'll be safe," claimed the pilot, (with nods),
On being questioned - "Sir, what are the odds
That this flight with a snag
Will not crumple like rag?"
"For we've sacrificed goats to the Gods!"

Yahoo News 04/07/07: Officials at Nepals state-run airline have sacrificed two goats to appease Akash Bhairab, the Hindu sky god, following technical problems with one of its Boeing 757 aircraft, the carrier said Tuesday. Get the story here

No kidding!

The old man said, "It's my desire
That 100 plus kids I should sire,
I've fathered, till date,
Some seventy-eight,
O get me more wives - loin's on fire!"

CNN.com 20/08/07: Father of 78 aims for 100 children. Get the story here

Kitty Cop

A teen asked a cop (with a wink),
"You've broken some rules, I should think?
So then how can you fine
Me for being out of line -
While sporting a kitty in pink?"

CNN 06/08/07: Thai policemen who break rules will be forced to wear hot pink armbands featuring "Hello Kitty," the Japanese icon of cute, as a mark of shame, a senior officer said Monday. Get the story here

Photo Credit: yellowberry.org


PS: This blog is on holiday till Monday

Exposure

In Rajkot, the moral cops quip,
"Our culture's at stake, crack the whip!
Ill-treating our wives,
Is a part of our lives -
How dare this babe protest and strip?"

IBNLive 13/07/07: On July 6, a young woman in Rajkot protested dowry harassment by walking semi-nude on the city streets.Twenty-two-year-old Pooja Chauhan hit headlines after she took to the shocking form of protest alleging torture by her in-laws and husband, embarrassing the police into filing a dowry harassment case under the Domestic Violence Act. But now there’s a fresh twist to the case. Get the story here


The other side of the coin:Now, husbands’ group comes to Pratap’s rescue

Singing in the park

The angry cop let out a bark;
"Hey, lower your voice in the park.
Here, folks aren't allowed
To sing out so loud -
And moreover you are no lark!"

But the judge said, "Well Am'rica teaches
That the people have right to their screeches.
In Afghanistan,
You could have a ban,
But out here his right it sure breaches!"


Yahoo news 04/07/07: Man acquitted for loud park singing. Get the story here

Shah Jahan complains

For my wife, I had built a sweet dream.
In pure marble, a wonder supreme.
Now I hear, to defend
My own Taj, I must send
A paid SMS vote - what a scream!

Have you voted for the Taj Mahal yet? And what if you haven't? Will it cease to be a wonder? I wonder...

And then again, have you wondered about the power that the SMS wields in our lives today?

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