The Bollywood Slap to Fame

The wait has been long; Inkspot's terse.

Could this be the end? Writer's curse?

But a complaint in rhyme,

Came through just in time --

And inspired in Inkspot, a verse.

Sujatha, this one, on the recent Bollywood slap story, is dedicated to you :-)

In Mumbai, there lived a young man,
Who came up, one day, with a plan
To get famous quick
(It was foolproof, the trick)
And that's how this whole thing began.

The trick was this - target a star
Then tease and provoke him so far,
That he slaps you, whereby,
Your plan hits bull's eye--
You're trending, you're famous, you are!!

Billu caught in the cross-hairs of Barbers

The old barber was over the moon
When he heard the news this afternoon.
"We, who trim hair and beard,
Will be henceforth revered,
By those who visit our saloon!"

"Our razor-sharp voice did the trick.
It forced them to rename their flick.
And now I expect
You to show some respect --
Else your face will be sporting a nick!"

The Bollywood film "Billu Barber" has been renamed "Billu", after the film faced protests from the Salon & Beauty Parlors Association. Get the story here

The Salman saga

Cried Sallu Bhai sitting in jail,
"I'm sick of the law, get me bail!
Once out, with some luck,
I will pass on the buck,
And quickly to Mumbai turn tail!"



TOI 27/08/07: The hearing on bail application of Bollywood actor Salman Khan, charged in the chinkara poaching case will be heard on Wednesday. Get the story here

Punished

In your youth, you may feel, you can flaunt
All your powers, and that life is a jaunt,
But remember that fate,
May for years lie in wait,
And that past always comes back to haunt!

Reuters 31/07/07: Bollywood star Sanjay Dutt was jailed for six years on Tuesday for obtaining firearms from gangsters involved in India's worst bombings, ending an epic trial that transfixed the country with tales of terror and revenge. Get the story here

The Big B:no gentleman farmer?

The court questioned, "pray tell us how
A man like you claimed he could plough?
You may be a charmer
But for sure are no farmer
So, our ruling is, 'leave the land now'!"

"As a coolie, the station you manned,
But in no film have you tilled the land.
In Veer Zaara, true,
A few crops you grew,
But that's not called farming, understand?"

The Hindu 02/06/07: A Faizabad court on Saturday dismissed a review petition filed by actor Amitabh Bachchan in the agricultural land allotment case in Barabanki district of Uttar Pradesh. It ruled that Mr. Bachchan was not a farmer. Get the story here

Eklavya The Royal Guard- all thumbs!

Ingredients, the film had it all
So with high hopes I went to the hall.
But the film left me numb,
As if I had cut my thumb,
And then I caught this writing on the wall!



Revital tablets for viewing Eklavya? Goodness! what will these guys come up with next?

Newsworthy

There was a time in the past
When the morning newspaper amassed
News of import
Be it business or sport
Well my dear, those days have passed!

Now in the morn when you waken
You'll find that the headlines are taken
By celebrity tales
(It hikes up the sales)
Enough to leave you stirred and/or shaken

Has B junior already wed Ash?
Will Shilpa really get all that cash?
Will SRK be
Lucky for KBC?
These are stuff making a splash!

Bhagam Bhag - motivation to run (away)

I sincerely feel that hereafter
Priyadarshan shouldn't attempt laughter
For his recent flick
A supposed slapstick
Was obnoxious - it couldn't get dafter!

I had a good mind to ask for a refund of my ticket money after sitting through Bhagam Bhag. I mean, why is the director Priyadarshan trying so hard to recreate the Hera Pheri kind of comedy, going more and more over the top each time?

And what is this thing about copying scenes, themes from old (read '60s) Hollywood films? I thought that was passé! First came his Garam Masala/Boeing Boeing and now in Bhagam Bhag he goes and lifts an entire scene from "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World" and makes it his own. I mean come on, we have evolved from the '60s, or haven't we?

This is what Rediff has to say about the film. Eminently missable.