Boycotting Red in West Bengal

There once lived a smarty who said,
"We must boycott everything red.
I strongly advise,
Against CPM ties,
Be careful, dear folks, who you wed."

"So henceforth we Bongs, won't have red.
Even colour of blood, will instead
Be re-dyed bright blue
(None other will do)
For you see, we are doubtless purebred!"

"Neither saree, nor sindoor, nor bangle
Should be red -- it's the CPM angle.
The colour we'll rout,
From our palette, no doubt,
It is Marxist -- we must disentangle"

India Today 16/04/2012: West Bengal - State food supplies minister Jyotipriyo Mallick issued a diktat ordering his party members to socially boycott the CPM in Bengal. The startling remarks came as Mallick, at a public rally in Kolkata's adjoining North 24-Parganas' Habra area, asked Trinamool members not to have marital ties with the family members of any CPM leader or activist. Get the story here

Read more at: http://indiatoday.intoday.in/story/socially-boycott-cpm-in-bengal-appeals-trinamool-minister/1/184750.html

Why Sending Toons via Mail is Dangerous

In Bengal, you may land in jail
If caught sending toons via mail.
There's a buzz and a rumour,
That our leaders lack humour --
They'll book you for cyber-crime - #fail
              ~***~

India Today 15/04/2012: The arrest of professor Ambikesh Mahapatra for having forwarded a cartoon about West Bengal CM Mamata Bannerjee has legal experts concerned about the use of Internet laws by the government to suppress free speech.Get the story here

Of Army Tales & a Court Ban

A birth date that led to a row,
Has snowballed into trouble, and how!
At first, came the muck,
About bribes for a truck,
Then 'news' of troops closing in - Wow!

There's also the letter which stated,
Our weapons were bloody outdated.
With supplies unsteady,
We weren't battle-ready;
That a war, now, would sure be ill-fated.

The media, sure enough, ran
These juicy tales daily, their plan
To get us all spooked,
Till they were rebuked,
By the Court, which then issued a ban.

NDTV 12/04/2012: The Allahabad High Court on Tuesday restrained the electronic and print media from publishing and broadcasting any news reports on the movement of two army units towards Delhi in January, as reported in a section of the media. Get the story here

Get more on the age row story here and here

Sexing up cricket

When I told them, "boys, get some action,"
Said Kirsten, with dissatisfaction,
 "I meant, practice cricket,
Not, go forth and stick it --
Am hurt by such vulgar reaction!"

Crickinfo India 25/09/09:  Gary Kirsten, India's coach, has said he was not involved in the preparing a controversial document that encouraged cricketers to have sex before matches.Get the story here

Further reads 1, 2 

Look ma, there's a minister in the tiger's cage!

Did you hear of the minister who
Went and entered a cage in the zoo?
It seems he was cheered
On by those who appeared
To have mistaken him for a gnu!

--------------000------------------

Did you hear of the minister who
Went and entered a cage in the zoo?
Well he wanted to pat
What he thought was a cat
And now all that remains, is his shoe!


Inspired by this news item in the TOI, 17th August, 2009: Minister enters tiger cage in zoo. Read the story here


!

Billu caught in the cross-hairs of Barbers

The old barber was over the moon
When he heard the news this afternoon.
"We, who trim hair and beard,
Will be henceforth revered,
By those who visit our saloon!"

"Our razor-sharp voice did the trick.
It forced them to rename their flick.
And now I expect
You to show some respect --
Else your face will be sporting a nick!"

The Bollywood film "Billu Barber" has been renamed "Billu", after the film faced protests from the Salon & Beauty Parlors Association. Get the story here

Inkspot on Mangaloremania

First the pub attacks in Mangalore, then the targeting of noodle straps and Valentine's day - these hooligans are I suppose setting new standards of 'Hindu culture'. According to them:

A good Hindu girl ain't no sinner.
She stays at home, cooks lunch and dinner.
She steers clear away,
From Valentine's day --
Her blouse straps will never get thinner.

A good Hindu man will pursue
Women in pubs, beat them blue.
Like a hawk (or a vulture),
He'll protect 'Hindu culture' --
Though, what that is, he has no clue!

On sledging

Ricky Ponting awoke with a start.
"What a nightmare," said his racing heart.
"They are planning to master
Our sledge trick - disaster!
Or else why would they call it an art?"

The Telegraph Calcutta 27/02/08: Mahendra Singh Dhoni, fresh from leading India into the tri-series finals, on Tuesday said sledging is an art and the Australians have perfected it but it won’t take long for his boys to learn the tricks of the trade. Get the story here

The mother of all abuse

In a match, when two players got irate,
The referee said, “Boys, get this straight.
You may well hurl abuse
At your moms, if you choose,
But you can’t call each other primate!”

Daily Telegraph 29/01/08: Indian defence for Harbhajan Singh. Get the story here. Cricinfo 30/01/08: Insufficient evidence against Harbhajan - Hansen. Get the story here

In the new age of sportsmanship, it appears that monkeying around with moms is considered the lesser evil!