Men to continue peeing outdoors to save the planet (women of course have to use the loo)

Sir, how come your garden's so lush?
The gardener replied, (with a blush).
I'm watering, you see,
The plants with my pee
Am relieved - there's now no need to flush!

Men peeing in the open/ outdoors, a familiar sight in India, has recently received a boost with the UK based charity, the National Trust urging menfolk to pee outdoors on 'pee bales' or compost heaps in order to save the planet. Women of course should continue to use a lavatory and flush (thereby contributing to global warming) as their pee is 'more acidic'. Get the story here

Vive la difference, I say!

Punished for being raped!

Been gang raped and faced an assault?
Then know my dear, it's all your fault
For tempting the male
They'll spank you in jail
And rub your wound with common salt!


ABC News 22/11/07: Saudi rape victim tells her story. Get the story here

Why men speed

"Oh can't you drive slow?" the wife pleaded.
But her words, like all else, went unheeded
'Coz he felt the urge
For adrenaline surge
So what did he do? He just speeded!

Yahoo News 29.10/07: Young men drive fast because speed is perceived as inherently male, a team of Swiss and German researchers claimed in a study released on Monday. Read about it here

Ha! as if we did not already know it!

O spammer, know thy consumer

Today my inbox has over 15spam mails on penis enlargement. Now this surely calls for a limerick, so here we go:

These spam mails are really ingen(io)us,
They promise enhancement of penis.
A perfect sales pitch,
Save one tiny hitch -
I haven't yet grown one - I'm Venus!

:D :D

A wife's complaint

"From the time that my love and I married,"
Said the wife, looking tired and harried,
"My once helpful mate,
Stopped pulling his weight,
And his share of the housework he parried!"

Woman, do you have complaints that your husband does little to help you around the house? That the helpful boyfriend you married, the one who used to jump up and rush to the kitchen to help you with the dishes in those good old live-in days, is now glued to the TV and does little else?

Well, lady you can take heart, you are not alone. It's a global truth! Don't believe me, check this out.

:D

India gets its first lady President

As predicted by the spirit, through gran*,
We've been given, by some Divine plan,
Our first lady Prez,
Whose resume says,
Under credentials, - "A Sonia fan!"

Pratibha Patil has been sworn in as India's first woman President. Get the story here

Earlier, Patil claimed to have spoken to the spirit of the deceased leader, Baba Lekhraj, of the Brahma Kumaris World Spiritual University at their headquarters in Mount Abu, Rajasthan. "Dadiji* ke shareer mein Baba aye ... Maine unse baat ki (Baba entered Devi’s body and he communicated to me through her)," she told a TV channel, on camera.


*Note: In Hindi, Dadiji, is a term used for a grandmother.

(Photo credit: NDTV)

Exposure

In Rajkot, the moral cops quip,
"Our culture's at stake, crack the whip!
Ill-treating our wives,
Is a part of our lives -
How dare this babe protest and strip?"

IBNLive 13/07/07: On July 6, a young woman in Rajkot protested dowry harassment by walking semi-nude on the city streets.Twenty-two-year-old Pooja Chauhan hit headlines after she took to the shocking form of protest alleging torture by her in-laws and husband, embarrassing the police into filing a dowry harassment case under the Domestic Violence Act. But now there’s a fresh twist to the case. Get the story here


The other side of the coin:Now, husbands’ group comes to Pratap’s rescue

Bovine feminism

"We girls want our very own game;"
Commanded a young Spanish dame.
"These bull are no fun,
We want cows to run,
They're gentler by far and more tame!"

Yahoo News 09/07/07: Women in the northern Spanish city of Pamplona, world-famous for its ferocious bull-running festival, are demanding their own version complete with cows instead of bulls. Get the story here

Freedom of expression

The menfolk have gone into shock
On hearing that women don't talk
More than their share;
Said one, "I could swear -
My better-half yaps round the clock!"

"16,000 words? That's a joke!"
I soon heard another man croak.
"My lips have been stitched,
Since the time I got hitched-
'I do', were the last words I spoke!"

ABC News 05.07.07: Study: Women Don't Talk More Than Men. Researchers Find That Both Sexes Speak About 16,000 Words a Day. Read about it here

The bare truth

In New York, if a girl bares her chest,
Don't call cops, don't go get charges pressed.
Don't get mad, don't oppose,
Or you'll pay through your nose,
For like men, she can now go undressed!


CNN 18/06/07: New York City pays $29,000 for arresting topless woman. Read about it here

The Teletubby saga: Gay? You don't say!

"Dear Dipsy and Laa-Laa," wrote Po,
"From Poland we'll soon have to go.
Our dear Tinky Winky,
They suspect, is kinky,
For using a purse on the show!"

Both wrote back, "It's truly unkind,
The way they have Twinky maligned.
Now what can we say,
Seems humans today
Have nothing but sex on their mind!"

BBC News 28/05/07: A senior Polish official has ordered psychologists to investigate whether the popular BBC TV show Teletubbies promotes a homosexual lifestyle. Get the story here

Are we growing more and more paranoid by the day? Why do we have to read between the lines even where there are no lines to read between? For God's sake, even Freud had said, "Sometimes a cigar is only a cigar"!

Seriously, I think we are taking some things too far - and far too seriously.

Bra-ism

I say burning those bras is a bold
Cry for freedom, but gals must be told,
That boobs hanging free,
May soon touch the knee,
As the gravity starts taking hold!

:D

In response to Madeleine's hilarious post:Keeping Abreast Of Bras

Eye candy

Around the globe, everyone blames
The menfolk for all those eye games
Did you ever doubt?
Well now truth is out -
That ogling is sport for the dames!

Sydney Morning Herald 16/04/07: Researchers have found women are worse oglers than men despite the widespread belief that they are less physically focused. Read on