Newsmericks welcomes the fearless reporter Inkspot!

"We must create," Newsmericks thought,
"A brave heart reporter to jot
The news every morn."
So that's how was born
The fearless news hunter - Inkspot!

Hi friends, Newsmericks gets a new logo!

Created by my friend Avi Das of Avi Das Designs, the intrepid Inkspot will go where no reporter has dared go before!

:D

Mandy musings

The cricket fans sat there agape,
At the sight of her unusual drape.
For seen on the pleat,
Very close to her feet,
Was the tri-color, printed on crepe!

IBN Live 28/04/07: Actress and cricket anchor Mandira Bedi's clothes flagged off a fresh controversy on Saturday after she was spotted wearing the Indian colours in a disrespectful manner on a satellite television channel. Read about it here.

{photo from IBNlive.com}

A fool's paradise

A shrink tells a boy, "you are slow,
Your IQ is simply too low.
But this ain't a hitch,
For in life you'll be rich,
As this research goes on to show!"

Yahoo News 24/04/07: Intelligence has nothing to do with wealth, according to a US study published Tuesday which found that people with below average smarts were just as wealthy as those with higher IQ scores.

Bra-ism

I say burning those bras is a bold
Cry for freedom, but gals must be told,
That boobs hanging free,
May soon touch the knee,
As the gravity starts taking hold!

:D

In response to Madeleine's hilarious post:Keeping Abreast Of Bras

Of Earth and Super-Earth

If you feel that of space there is dearth,
On this Planet that we call the Earth,
Get over your grouse,
And go build a house,
On the New Earth discovered, with mirth!

BBC News 25/04/07: New 'super-Earth' found in space. Astronomers have found the most Earth-like planet outside our Solar System to date, a world which could have water running on its surface. Get the story here

{**Photo from BBC}

Skill Bill

Do you think maybe Wolfowitz will
Have to give up his post at bankville?
Well, the picture ain't clear,
And from what I hear
He has hired the same lawyer as Bill!

International Herald Tribune 24/04/07: Signaling anew that he will fight for his job as World Bank president, Paul Wolfowitz has enlisted a prominent lawyer who defended President Bill Clinton against accusations of sexual misconduct to help convince the bank's board that Wolfowitz has done nothing to justify being ousted.

No longer sci-fi - kryptonite's here!

When the Serbian asked him to fight,
I saw Superman turn deathly white.
In a voice low and meek,
He complained, "I feel weak,
Where on earth did he find kryptonite?"


Yahoo News 23/04/07: Scientists unearth Superman's "kryptonite". Get the story here

One kiss too many - II

Well the football game's referee was pissed,
So he whipped out a yellow card, hissed,
"If you think, that up here,
You can act like that Gere,
You are wrong - and I hate getting kissed!"

Yahoo news 23/04/07: A Brazilian defender was booked for kissing the referee during a weekend match. Read on...

Knight in the shining armour

Young Bachchan comes riding his horse
And carries off - Aishwariya of course!
And who is that hunk
All dressed like a monk?
It's Sallu Bhai, whispers our source!


DNA 19/04/07: MF’s horse rides into Abhi-Ash party. Read on

{pic courtesy DNA}

By invitation only!

"Hey lady, you can't go inside"
The burly guard at the gate cried.
"My orders, alas,
Say, 'only let pass
Those folks on the guest list of pride'!"

"Please, re-check the list," she replied,
The beautiful damsel, doe-eyed,
Then burst into tears
For you see, my dears
She happened to be - yes-the bride!

With such a lot of song and dance in the media about the 'real guest list', the secrecy and the craze for details from the Abi-Ash wedding that is underway, one can't but help imagine...what if...?

:-P

Happy birthday dear Father!

There lived a young lady in Rome,
Who went off to St. Peter’s dome.
She climbed the bell-rope,
Yelled, "long live the Pope,"
Then climbed down and headed back home!


USA Today 16/04/07: The Pope turns 80 in low-key fashion.

This get's my goat, really!

In Prague lived a proud billy goat,
Who one day to Sigmund Freud wrote:
Your id-ego claim,
You think got you fame?
Just come here and let's take a vote!


DNA 13/04/07: Prague residents say no to Freud statue, prefer a goat's instead! Read on

Attention please!

Too late in the day did we find
His writings showed his state of mind
Bloodbath and pain
Many lives lost in vain
And all because - we had been blind!

Guardian 18/04/07: The gunman in the Virginia Tech massacre was a sullen loner who alarmed professors and classmates with his twisted, violence-drenched creative writing and left a rambling note raging against religion and rich kids. Read on

This makes me stop and think: Where do we draw the line between imagination, fantasy and a cry for help from a mind that is ill? Could we have averted this tragedy had we not listened with half an ear?


Related read: Arms & the man

Word Defined: Celeron

When Intel decided to tend
The processor market, low-end,
The Celeron chip,
Was used to equip,
Those CPUs one-third the spend!


Note: The first Celeron, based on the PII core, cost about 1/3rd the price of PII

OR

When Intel thought they should devise
A processor, easy on price,
They launched a rehash
Of PII, (sans cache),
As Celeron - it did suffice!



All you computer geeks out there - do let me know which of the above 2 definitions explains the term better :-)

Eye candy

Around the globe, everyone blames
The menfolk for all those eye games
Did you ever doubt?
Well now truth is out -
That ogling is sport for the dames!

Sydney Morning Herald 16/04/07: Researchers have found women are worse oglers than men despite the widespread belief that they are less physically focused. Read on

One kiss too many

A self-proclaimed moral cop hissed,
"This Gere chap has left us real pissed.
He swooped like a vulture
And tarnished our culture,
Now all our dames want to be kissed!"

The Telegraph 17/04/07: Like the Shiv Sena, many Mumbai women aren’t glad that Richard Gere kissed Shilpa Shetty yesterday. They wish it were them getting the pecks. Read on

Don't know the story? Here is what happened

All in a day's work

He being touted as a leader gen-next,
Is a move that left many perplexed.
For the young Gandhi heir,
Has a natural flair
For statements that leave people vexed!

Economic Times 16/04/07: On his first campaign trip to Uttar Pradesh, prime minister Manmohan Singh on Sunday projected Mr Rahul Gandhi as the future of the state and urged the people to help the Congress to make a new beginning for the state which had been ruled by the non-Congress parties for the past 15 years. Read on

Related Read: Blind to history, a Gandhi campaigns...

How to give your girlfriend a gift and pay for it...

A chieftain was suffering from the notion
That his dear girlfriend deserved a promotion.
So, singing her praise ,
He went, got her a raise,
But his act caused a hellish commotion!

OR ...

"The dear girl is deserving of praise,"
Thought the chief, so he got her a raise.
But soon he turned pale,
When the press broke the tale,
Now the poor chap is counting his days!

Reuters 16/04/07: World Bank President Paul Wolfowitz on Sunday dug in his heels over the promotion he approved for his girlfriend and said he intends to stay in his job, even as bank member governments voiced "great concern" the institution might not be able to function properly. Read on

Beastly!

An angry croc said, you can bet
That I'm a wild guy, not your pet
So saying, in rage
He turned in his cage,
And chomped off the hand of his vet!

The China Post 13/04/07: Doctors successfully re-attached the forearm of veterinarian Chang Po-yu who was bitten by a crocodile at Kaohsiung's Shou Shan Zoo on Wednesday. Read on

Damn those diets!

There once lived a man who was round
Who was glad to hear diets were unsound
He claimed it was fate
That whatever he ate
Tended to pack in the pound!


Guardian 10/04/07: Diets don't work in long term, says survey

As clear as water, or is it?

Do we really know if there's a gap
Between water from a bottle and a tap?
Or could it be a hype,
When water from a pipe,
Is bottled and sealed with a cap?

Is bottled water really better than tap? Find out here.
Well, America has doubts...how about in India?

Family feud

"These in-laws are truly a pain"
A new bride was heard to complain.
"They always find flaw,
In their daughter in law,
And leap for her jugular vein!"


HT 09.04.07: Liz Hurley goes ballistic after criticism from in-laws. Read about it here

Related read: Just Married!

Blog vacation

I must admit that the heat
Is leaving me drained and quite beat
So am off to the hills
To enjoy the chills
And a cosy cum quiet retreat!

This blog is on vacation till mid-next week as blogger heads off to Sikkim. Au revior!

Bitter chocolate

Hershey made us look a fool
Cried the Utterly Butterly Amul
Their kisses were false
And what truly appalls
Is they used us as a stepping stool!


ET 04/04/07: Hershey leaves Amul with a bitter taste. Read about it here

When backward is the way ahead

Nowhere on earth do we see
Such clamour for being OBC.
But among India's vast
Spumy cauldron of caste
Being 'backward' is a source of envy!

India remains a quagmire of castes and sub-castes. It is a land where we talk of using 'positive discrimination' as a social tool to empower various sectors of our populace. Here we all want specialized treatment and being in the 'general' category is today almost synonymous to being a nobody.

We would like quotas for everything - we have VIP quota in trains, sports quota in jobs, women's quota, minorities quota, backward classes quota, scheduled classes quota, ministers' quota....if you think up any other (new) category, just add it to the list - you can be sure someone else somewhere is demanding it too. Aren't you surprised that we still have a 'general' category left where merit is a criteria for selection?

The Supreme Court of India has recently observed:

"Nowhere in the world do castes queue up to be branded as backward. Nowhere in the world is there a competition to become backward."

But of course we Indians are unique, with an unique perspective. Thanks to our leaders playing politics with caste, here you have to be backward to go forward with ease .

Related read:

• Who is an OBC?
• Increase in quota will divide nation: SC
• Going forward on backwards
• The caste cauldron