Taking a leaf out of Arnie's book

California's gov'ner and chief,
Said the ganja ain't drug, just a leaf.
He may have been joking,
But those who love smoking,
Roll their joints now with heightened relief!

:D

CBS news 30/10/07: California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger says marijuana is not a drug, a British magazine reported Monday. But his spokesman said the governor was joking. Get the story here

Recipe for a limerick

Raven sends in this interesting recipe that he feels is essential for penning a good limerick:

RECIPE FOR A LIMERICK

In writing a good limerick

Like a cocktail, the mix does the trick

Though wit is the base, but

A soupcon of smut

Does add to the strength of the kick!

~ RAVEN

What is your recipe?

Congratulations Amit Varma!

If you've heard the announcement, then you'll
Know that Amit's won the Bastiat, how cool!
A fan clapped with glee,
And boasted, "You see,
I told you, we libertarians shall rule!"

Yes, Amit Varma of India Uncut has won the Bastiat award for journalism. Now, how cool is that! Congratulations Amit. The cows send their blessings :D

Tipple tales

He had come to the bar for some tipples
What he saw, in his loins caused hot ripples,
A bare- breasted Ann
Was crushing beer can
While spoons dangled free from her nipples!

:D

Yahoo News 24/10/07: An Australian barmaid has been fined for crushing beer cans between her bare breasts while an off-duty colleague has been fined for hanging spoons from her friend's nipples, police said Wednesday. Get the story here

Off with his hair!

(Photo: PTI)

A young Dhoni fan winced in pain.
No, he hadn't been hit by a train.
But indeed was shook,
By his hero's new look,
"My goodness, he's shorn off his mane!"

The Hindu: 'New look' Dhoni arrives home. Get the story here

The 6-pack secret

Yahoo News 23/10/07: A Maine researcher says standing on a vibrating platform for 15 minutes a day could help people achieve washboard abs. Get the story here

Now this definitely calls for a newsmerick. So here we go:

Are you seeking those washboard-like abs?
Well then here are some tips up for grabs.
On a platform stand straight
And then make it vibrate -
It has worked on the mice in our labs!

So what are you waiting for? Time to rock!

Star-track

Munnabhai is now in doubt,
What will it be? In or out?
It seems that the star's
Going back behind bars,
While once more, his lawyers' for bail scout!


Reuters 22/10/07: Actor Sanjay Dutt returns to jail in bombings case. get the story here

Season's greetings!

Newsmericks wishes all its readers Shubho Bijoya and a happy Dussehra.

Before we continue with our daily updates, here is a limerick sent in by a reader who calls himself Raven :-)

#1. ON THE PUJA CELEBRATIONS
Whether you're sixty or twenty

Pujas have delights aplenty:

But the singing with folk

And the band-noise plus smoke

Are a boon for the local ENT!

~RAVEN

Here I must admit that the noise levels have come down drastically over the years and you will hardly find the blaring music that was a cornerstone of Pujas in the yesteryears. Will post some pictures soon. Till then, enjoy another of Raven's neat little pieces.

#2 ON WITH THE DANCE

One step forward, two steps back

See us dance the "Nuclear Track" -

We are partners, true

But combatants too

Only politicians have this knack!

~ RAVEN

Like Raven, you too can send in your limericks to Newsmericks. If it tickles Inkspot's funny bone, then we promise to publish it on this site :)

Let the celebrations begin!

Once more it's that time of the year
When the Goddess comes home - she is here
All work now shall stop
We'll have fun till we drop,
Said Inkspot while slugging on beer!

This blog shall be on holiday as Inkspot heads out to enjoy the Durga Puja days. We will be back next week. Till then, enjoy the Pujas, Navratri and Dussehra dear readers. Also, Eid Mubarak!

And the Nobel Peace Prize goes to...

"The global warmth is on the rise,"
The pundits warned, "soon we'll be fries."
"That's scary as hell,"
Thought folks at Nobel,
"Let's bring down the heat with our prize!"


HT 14/10/07: A piece of peace. Read the story here

Durga not welcome at Hogwarts?

An innovative pandal their dream,
They created the 'Hogwarts school' theme.
But soon Madame Rowling,
Came after them, growling,
Now Potter battles Goddess Supreme!


Kolkata Newsline 10/10/07: Rowling sues Salt Lake Puja committee for copyright violation. Read the story here

It is commonplace for Puja organizers to design puja pandals based on various themes. Will then copyrights be needed for all in the future? The Telegraph asks.

O spammer, know thy consumer

Today my inbox has over 15spam mails on penis enlargement. Now this surely calls for a limerick, so here we go:

These spam mails are really ingen(io)us,
They promise enhancement of penis.
A perfect sales pitch,
Save one tiny hitch -
I haven't yet grown one - I'm Venus!

:D :D

hip-py tales

"I'm prone to breast cancer," she sighed.
"What makes you so damned sure?" I pried.
"It's easy," she quips,
"Just look at mom's hips -
They're heavy and rounded and wide!"

The Hindu 09/10/07: Size of your mother's hips could raise your breast cancer risk, says a new study. Read about it here

For Rezwanur: Let the "andar ki baat" see light of day

A young pair decided to wed,
The bride's dad in anger saw red.
(For there was a catch.
Their backgrounds didn't match.)
And soon, the young man, he was dead.

O how did he die? Was he slain?
Did he end his life under a train?
Let truth come to light
In Rezwanur's fight
And may he have not died in vain.

TOI 09/10/07: CPM veteran Jyoti Basu may be keeping up the heat in the Rizwanur Rahman case, demanding stern action against police officers, but the administration is doing little to speed up the probe into the death of the 30-year-old graphic designer. Get the story here

For those who are not aware of the Rizwanur case, here is a short background

*'andar ki baat', or 'the inside story' is the tagline of the Lux Cozi, an innerwear brand owned by Ashok Todi, father of the bride.

Power games

"Power sharing? That is unfair!"
Cried the Gowda son clutching his chair.
"Such promises, if spoken,
Were meant to be broken-
My memory's a short-lived affair!"

Zee News 08/09/07: Ending weeks of uncertainty about the fate of his government, Karnataka Chief Minister H D Kumaraswamy on Monday met Governor Rameshwar Thakur at the Raj Bhavan and tendered his resignation. The development came in the wake of his government being reduced to a minority, following the withdrawal of support by the BJP and the outright rejection by the Congress of the idea to support his government. Get the story here

Inkspot is back!

Inkspot is back!

So many things have happened since I went on holiday... India won the Twenty20, Viswanathan Anand became the World Chess Champ, there was flare-up in Burma and back home the newly wed Rizwanur Rahman died a mysterious death... lots of catching up to do!

A reader sent in this note of welcome :

Holiday-minded Ms.Ray

Dared to venture harm's way -

She went with a smile

To the trouble-racked isle

And is back to write another day!

Well thank you dear reader. However, let me point out that Sri Lanka is safe for travel and is not as 'trouble-racked' as people generally view it to be. It is a beautiful country and worth visiting both for its natural beauty and cultural heritage.

Regular blogging will resume Monday onwards.

For Burma

www.free-burma.org