May 26, 2006

Darna Zaroori Hai: When fear is booed

The build-up

A movie-buff walks at midnight
Through a graveyard where there is no light.
His spine starts to tingle,
As he hears a soft jingle,
Then seeing a poster he dies of sheer fright!

The introduction lays out the tone
That most of our fears are homegrown.
Much of our dread,
Is inside our head,
It dictates how we react to the unknown.

Scary tales

Five kids get caught in the rain
Take shelter in a granny’s domain
She tries to ensnare
Them with stories that scare
While bumping them off in a chain!

A student comes home for a class,
Finds his prof. has gone loony, alas,
But the chap loses poise
When amidst all that noise
He sees a soot-covered man in the glass!

A couple had their visitor seeing red
When “spirits can be called,” they said
Post hamming and teasing,
(Not all of which was pleasing)
They get to learn that the visitor was dead!

A man comes and knocks on the door
“Buy an insurance”, he tries to implore
Then blood is spilled
As he gets himself killed
I found this bummer of a tale, an eyesore!

A director dies in the dark,
His eye-candy devoid of spark.
For when he discovered,
Ms. Sherawat fully covered,
The shock of that sight found its mark!

A ghost in need of a frame
To a young man’s body lays claim
She flits to and fro
With vengeance aglow
Her swings could put pendulums to shame!

Summing up...

So let’s see then, what have we got?
Six short stories, entwined in a plot
An attempted fear-fest
With less scares than jest
And predictable, more often than not!

You want me to sum my critique?
The theme was good - stories oblique.
But I was not thrilled
To see kids getting killed
This movie’s overall rating is --weak!

Expectations were all set to soar
Since the movie had filmstars galore.
But the treatment, disjointed,
Left the viewer disappointed,
At being dished out another Bollywood bore!


  1. Aparna, if by some freak of nature I meet you - would you talk to me in limerick too?! OMG how do you do it?! :-)

    Way to go, you! **claps**

    BTW, horror movies these days are..well, crap, to say the least. The last one I enjoyed was the thriller 'Kaun' - couldn't sleep during rains after that :-(

  2. Woww aparna thats the most innovative review I have read :-D Too good.

    waiting for a limerick on the aamir-fanaa controversy too :-D

  3. Thanks!

    And Priya, if we do meet, I promise to speak strictly in prose :-)

    Tamanna, will sure cover Fanaa!

    Btw, someone pointed out that I missed out the item number in the film, so here it goes...

    Well folks, that number was hot,
    Featuring Nisha and Mohit Alawat.
    Skimpily clad,
    Oomph she did add,
    Though it was not quite required in the plot!


  4. Anonymous11:03 AM

    Great stuff Aparna. Fantastic!Wow!